Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
No matter what I get, it’s impossible not to sound like a douche when saying my order at Starbucks.
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.