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Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don`t have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.