Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People of planet Earth, thank your gods that I`m not in charge of the red button.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not poop your pants.
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)