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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
It is kinda at the point where everything in my life is a movie reference
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
Why do people say "nice to meet you" before I`ve even said anything? How do you know it`s nice to meet me? I`m an a$$hole.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(