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Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
Whenever I want a klondike bar I just pay for it.