Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
Tomorrow, I`m going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can`t wait to see how big my puppy got!
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole. jk
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
Welcome to the obesessive-compulsive hotline... please press 1 repeatedly.
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !