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that awkard moment when someone`s laugh is actually funnier than the joke
I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.