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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
You`ve got to be twins. You`re too stupid to be one person.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don`t know yet though she`s still in bed