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Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
Dating would be a lot easier if the opposite sex had a tail. That way, I could see if it was wagging or not after I did or said something.
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become.
There needs to be more “damn it I missed my exit” exits.
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.