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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking