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Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
Its amazing how much more tolerable thanksgiving with the family becomes after the 5th cocktail…
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower?
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
My best friend sent me a message saying,"Your stupid," I replied,"atleast I know the difference between you`re and your,"