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Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
I`m thankful for pizza and burgers... and ice cream and bacon and fries and... F*ck it, I`m thankful for food. I love you, food.
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?