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Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
Whenever you can`t think of anything to say in therapy just go with, "I`ve been thinking about killing you."
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.