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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
Carfax but for people
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.