Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it`s like...I don`t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don`t try to run her life and I don`t try to run mine.
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.