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People will do odd things to get even.
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
I have a few skeletons in my closet. But, every single one of them deserved it.
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
Sometimes.. late at night... I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I am a meatball.
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you “I’m drunk” is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying “I’m delicious”
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*