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Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
God is creative... I mean look at me??
Ever update an app and realize the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That`s what going back to an ex is like.
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.