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I’m going to start wearing a whistle around my neck, so I can call penalties on people who piss me off.
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched....well, at least that`s what the restraining order says.
I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
I`ve decided that from now on I`m going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. It`s kind of fun...
"Dean, what are you doing this weekend?"
"That`s a great question -- and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back, and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend, I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."
"But what are you doing?"
"What I`m g
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)