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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
I`m one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
a lady at the grocery store asked me, "How do I know you?"...to which I replied, "You must watch a lot of porn".
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.