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How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
justin bieber
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
Farted in my wallet, Now I have gas money.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused