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Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
Big deal, Times Square, I drop the ball at least twice a week.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
All I`m saying is if I`m not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
I can`t wait to get all liquored up, and then go door-to-door to sing some Christmas Carols when it starts to warm up in April...
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
When a newscaster says; "I am live at the scene with a person who witnessed the accident," what they really mean is; "Check out this douchetard we found at the scene of this crash."