Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
When a man talks dirty to a woman it`s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it`s $3.95 per minute.
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.