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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I`d say I`m about 74% Rice Krispies.
Don’t bother flirting with the girl from accounting, she knows how much money you really make.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit"