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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
Don`t play dumb with me. That`s a game you can`t win.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!