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I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.