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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?