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Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?