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If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
Cake and pie can’t compete. If you put candles in a cake it’s birthday cake. Put candles in a pie and someone’s drunk in the kitchen.
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
My IQ? ... With google or without?