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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
It`s all fun and games until the cops show up.
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
When I say "It’s a long story," it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
There is no time to check time
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.