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Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
I just awesomed all over the place.
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.