Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
You know someone has a drinking problem when they go to the bar at 5pm, you know you have a drinking problem when you`re already there.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...