Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I’m just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, ā€œI thought you were peeing?ā€
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.