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Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
Step aside coffee, this job is going to take hard liquor.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.