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"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you!
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.