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PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Next time you go to the bank and they ask you if you`d like large bills, just look at them dead serious and say "No, normal size ones if you don`t mind."
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
Go ahead caller 9!!
Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make sh!t happen.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"