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Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you`re over 40.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
If you ever find lotion on a guy`s night stand, it`s not because he wants to moisturize his skin.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn’t seem so bad now.
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
I can´t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
They don`t say "Get down Mr. President" anymore. Now they just shout, "Donald Duck!"
Who did you vote for?? Clinton ? Trump ? Vodka
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.