Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..