Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
I`m placing myself in "time-out" until I`m able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
As I get older, I`ve learned to relax and not stress over trivial matters. Just kidding, I`m drunk.
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!
Just scraped 3 inches of "Mostly Cloudy" off my car.
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?