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What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.