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I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
They say when you meet the right one you will know right away. But why does it take 3 years to know it’s the wrong one?
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
When I was a kid, I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.