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I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
I`ve got good news and bad news. The good news is this status is almost over. The bad news is you read the whole thing.
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Fact: if you give your boyfriend a bj each time you act crazy, he`ll not only forgive you,but eventually be thrilled when you act nuts.
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
I can`t believe these women are just walking around with yoga mats like a game of yoga might just break out at any moment
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?