Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
Reminiscing isn’t as fun as it used to be.
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
A homeless guy just asked me for money, and I almost gave it to him, but then I thought... he`s just going to use it for alcohol, and then I thought... That`s what I`m going to use it for.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.