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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
Still waiting for the moment when there will be a "add to wishlist" button on people`s facebook profile !!
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
I did a half hour on the treadmill each day last week. This week, I`m up to 1 hour a day. I`m slowly building up to actually turning it on some time in the future.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one`s gonna mistake a different turtle for you.