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I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.