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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
Whoever snuck the s in β€œfast food” is a clever person.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there`s lunch brought in for everyone
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
I really wish Wal-Mart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
I drink coffee for your protection.
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things