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What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.