Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think you`re bad with words, imagine the first guy to say "There there" when consoling someone
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn`t had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.