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I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Who cares how I got inside your house. What matters is that we`re together now.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!
My wife accused me of spending too much time on Facebook. That’s funny, when did I get a wife?