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The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
This is bullshit. It`s like the cops don`t even know that the speed limit is different when you`re listening to AC/DC.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.