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I hate when Iām about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
I wish I could veto MY bills.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!