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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, β€œOh crap! It’s the cops!”?
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
I`d hit that. - women drivers
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.