Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Long story short, I love summaries.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
Iām mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
You know what is cheaper than therapy? ... Admitting you`re batshit crazy and running with it.
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
Me: "Sorry I`m late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn`t go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."