Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
First fart at my new job.
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.