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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.