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My first career was working as a Ventriloquist on a Radio Program, I got let go when people kept calling in to say my lips were moving.........
And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
I HATE it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. ..For the FIFTH time, I do not want to go to your cat`s birthday party. Damn it! ..My dog is getting married
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.