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Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.