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I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.