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"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Sure thing.... follow me... I`ll show you the fastest way to get to nowhere.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who`s free for the weekend.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?