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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
When you can no long help someone, I can - said the coroner.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
If Santa’s helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?
I don`t think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.